its my life story

all about it.

30 August 2009 @ 1:11 PM

yeah,i know that my previous posts all are so the
very emotional. ha ha ha! today first brother is
going off to thailand for his reservist. im so gna
miss him lorr. he going away three weeks leh! :(
idk how sisinlaw can help it lorr. tsktsk! i just
hope he will go thr safely & come back home
safely.

& tdy also baby iqraam gna go back to bedok.
so sad luh! but still,sisinlaw's family nvr fails
to asked me to go thr regularly. like i got nth
else to do likedat huh! hahah. its okay. im sure
will pop up at her place thr one day after my
shift ends. ((:

actually ive got so many things to tell but idk
how to start. too many. & thrs for sure alot of
pictures for me to upload too! just wait and
see yeah. ill be back soon!

ps ; tmr start clinical attachment alreadyyyyy!
imm so not ready. how?! :(

Labels: no mood for clinical attachment.

go and die please!

@ 3:00 AM

somtimes things are not meant to be said.

im in a confused stage now. & i dont want to

bother people with what im thinking and

feeling right now. pissedpissedpissed.

& how i really wish i was born without feelings?

so,ill not be feeling angry and stuff on what

i see & hear. sometimes i feel like i was left way

alone behind when poeple already right infront chasing

for what they wanted & some already achieve

what they've always wanted. i just dont know if

im being paranoid or im just simply feeling so

insecure.

& sometimes i feel like a dog. when i was being told

to do that way,i MUST follow. cant you think abt

the othrs? Or its just simply your emotionless?

please,think back. evryone do have their own

feelings & when you dont like ppl to treat you like

shit,make sure you dont treat them like shit.

& like ive said on the previous post,

if you really think im talking abt you,think back,

i might really talk about you!

thats all folks!

Labels: emotion-ing.

so fucking pissed.

28 August 2009 @ 11:05 PM

i know im being so paranoid. but,im still wondering
if my friends all is very true to me or just be
friend with me for the sake of being friends?
or maybe,taking advantages? sometimes when
i quarell & are totally okay with he/her,
i still got this doubtful feelings way deep inside
of my heart. am very scared if he/she will actually
do it again to me. i got really enuf of all this.
for all this while ive be really patient. but,alot
have been testing my bloody patient. its like,
you said sorry for umpteen times but,you did the
same mistake & then,you do it again. den i tell you,
whats the purpose of saying sorry at the first place?
& are you trying to like using me or what? this is
so ridiculous laa. totally. ERGH!

& this is totally shit. & whomever read this actually
thought im talking abt you,think back,i might
really talk about you.
so long!

Labels: shit to all this.

shazadiqraam.

24 August 2009 @ 1:07 AM

enough said,i miss this little one.

& i so excited to meet him tmr! yayness!

& i wonder if he still rmbr me,his aunty anot. hmm.

Okayyy,im off now.

FON is waiting for me to study them!

so long! ;D

Labels: reallydo.

how sad.

22 August 2009 @ 11:21 PM

me : mak satu bulan keje? ( whole of bulan puase )
mum : a'ah. kan mak da ckp tu hari.
me : beh,kite sume tk dpt nk buke puase same-same satu family?
mum : *geleng kepale*

& i went into my room and i cried.
this year marks the first time i break my fast with my lil
bro at home tdy ( first day of fasting i thought should break fast
together with the whole family righttttttt? sigh. )
first bro gone to his in laws house,2nd bro work,mom work
and dad fetch mom. so,it means for the whole month will
not break fast with my mom & dad?!?! :(
how sad can this be? i dont feel the excitement of fasting
this year and obviously not for raya. dissapointment. :'(

Labels: hate it.

a friend in need is a friend indeed.

@ 4:30 PM

im suppose to be mugging for my exams now!

BUT!

im feeling quite restless and this resulted me

to be here blogging! HA! i know,ill be dead in

any moments! i seriously hope for just a pass.

like seriously,seriously okay! cause i know tht

ive nvr concentrate in class much for my sem 1.

even in tutorials i can fell asleep. zzzz. Okay,

this one cannot say my fault. cause the

lecturers cannot make it one! HA HA HA!

i miss alot and alot of people nowadays.

but who? to think back,im glad tht im in poly

right now. friends are muchmuch more better

that i could imagine for. everthough we know

each oth less then a year,it seems like we know

each other over 5years! get what i mean? i

love you all. plus amalina and kak yanie!

you both has already made me open

my eyes. for making me stop looking back

and continue my journey in life. without them,

im still a somebody! ((:

so long then! off back to muggingggg! :(

ps ; sometimes i wonder,should i be regretting

knowing them? or should i be glad tht they are

once important in my life?

~~when they always made false promises,backstab~~

~~own friends and then,acted like nth happen!~~

well,this is call FRIENDS!

Labels: studystudystudystudyyyyyyy.

how can i?

@ 2:22 AM

HAPPY FASTING TO ALL MUSLIMS! ;D

ps ; your msges just now surprises me. & now,tell
me how to forget you? when each time im ready,
you just appear just likedat? -____-

Labels: happy berfasting.

very indeed! :(

21 August 2009 @ 8:47 PM

will freaking miss this babyboy up there! :( he no longer stay with me!

hes now at his another grandmother house! tell you,my eyes was

all the way watery and i was quite reluctant to let go baby iqraam!

basically,i gna miss this family! yes,i do okay! they are the

one whom never fails to make me laugh and smile each

day and no one can ever do that to me! :( & bro gna go
for reservist next week & will be back 3 days before raya!
& im off for attachment. wah! like no life lehhhh! haa!

okay,shall go now. im in need of the toilet now!

goodnight & to those who are having exams right now!

GOODLUCK! im sure you guys can do it! plus me tooooo!

wheeeeeeee! (((((((((((((((((((((((((:

xoxo.

Labels: imissbabyiqraam.

headacheeeee! :(

@ 12:31 AM

(i upload this pic already. happy? LOL! )

wnted to study FON,but,resulted blogging. & here i am here! LOL!

just took psychology paper! damnnnn! i shud like concentrate more

on just the paper given itself! cause,everything came out from that

bloody paper! *&^#!$#* its okay! i just hope for a pass. yes,a D atleast!

D consider a pass okay! for nyp protocol laa. haa! im still upset regarding

my phone! :( even first bro said serve me right. yeah,sucha nice brother

indeed. haiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! i wnted to do smth with my hair. but

idk wht shud is do. any suggestion? Or shud i rebondddddd again my
hair? where alot detest me in doing tht! :(

somehow im feeling quite curious regarding my upcoming attachment.

i wonder how it will turn out later on. gtg! watching syurga cinta!

yes! AGAIN! ;D so longggggg! ((:

goodnightttttt! XD

Labels: boringgggggg.

so sad! :(

20 August 2009 @ 10:53 PM

wthhhhhh! my phone is being sucha bitch! a minute it works another
minute it dost! my godddd! i love this hp like hell sia! :( im not ready
to get a new hp yet! totally not ready! but,seems the hp cannot make
it already,i guess,ill get a new one tmr laaaaaa! *sobsob* so people,
which phone is good? i thought of getting Nokia 5800. the phone very
gorgeous you know! heh! but,idk if the function is laaaa! help me
mannnnn! idk wht phone i should buyyy! i hope mom will get me this
phone as a belated bday present for me! nyahahahha! XD
okay,gtg now. needa study for FON! killer subject indeed! two down,
three still up! jiayou shahida,i know you can do it! && NR0906 you all
can do it! after this,can party alreadyyy! heh! but ops,ATTACHMENT
is up! so siannnnnn! :(

Labels: hp gone case.

@ 9:27 PM

TAG REPLIESSSSS! ((:

Ziella Wei makcik. Relink aku pls. Thanks!
Details
8/20/09 9:04 PM

- yer nenek! kau ni berape ribu kali nk tukar link eh? naik penat
aku relink kau tau! hahahahha!

meera junior helloh tagged !!
Details
8/17/09 5:56 PM

- hello sweetheart! (: thanks for the tag! see you ard soon? (:

nina omg!! happy belated birthday!! omg this is super late i knowwww. ahaha! but yeahh, heh thanks fr the comment at my tag box. (: love youu!
Details
8/16/09 2:19 AM

- helly sygku! thanks for the wish! its okay laa. i dont mind though. (:
& thanks to you too for dropping byyy! XD

aizan chill uh babe.. haha..
stress pe?
Details
8/14/09 11:51 PM

- haha! tak laa stress mane kan. geram sume jek laa. dont worry,
skg da okay! thanks laa yer! (:

reena bile i nk rase brownie u yg oh!so lazat tu lagi ehh? hehehe.
Details
8/14/09 10:09 PM

- haha! i also tk tau seh! err,maybe i make it for raye. jadi,nk rase,
dtg my house laa during raye kk? hahah! missyou laa kak! XD

*yaniee u ok not dek?? take a chill pill. isit about that 'makcik'?
Details
8/14/09 1:38 PM

- hahah! da okay laa kak. lepas satu,satu. heh. anw,iqraam da nk balik
gi rmh sane! sedeh nyeeeeeee! :(

Rasyidah How you doing?...
Details
8/11/09 2:44 PM

- hello syidah! im doing greattt! (: how abt you? hows sch? hopefully
everything went well! (:

Nina thanks for the post dear! & eh, lagu kat blog awak ni mcm sweet like that eh! heh! I had a blast with you on thurs! Iloveyou! Mwah.
Details
8/8/09 1:42 AM

- haha! np laa darling! yaaa i love the song! nice kann! hehe! had blast
with you toooo! loveyou truckloads! muahmuah! (:

Labels: taggies.

i dont need you all.

14 August 2009 @ 3:45 AM

expect for the unexpected. i know i cant possibly tell everyone what they
must do & not to do. & i have no right to do it to. people take things for
granted. ive tried my very best to hold everything up now. but,it seems
i cant. im not strong enough to carry this burden. im tired of forcing myself
to smile,to laugh when i know ive no right to do it. how i wish i was born
without feelings. i hate this feelings of mine right now! F-ing hate it! sigh.

~~no one have ever know how i felt.~~

Labels: i dont know whats happening right now.

for once,ive lost respect in you.

11 August 2009 @ 4:32 PM

i am very pissed right now. you msged me & asked me out.
then,when i was about to reach home,you went off already.
i thought you were joking. but indeed,i was wrong. hah.
i respected you so much. but hell yeah. im so much in
dissapointment. if i knew this would happen way earlier on
just now,i would already have stayed in school & do my revision.
Or even,stayed for awhile with my friends. i was wrong.
i know your the older and i ought to respect you. & for once,
ive lost respect for you.

but,on the bright side. im able to revise at home.
~~thanks alot~~ huh.

Labels: pissed.

actual fact,iloveyou my dear.

@ 2:41 AM

they said in order to forget someone is to fall for another one.
how true can this be? Oh god,help me. im trying my best to move
on. which i cant possibly manage to do. & i failed to do it.
infatuation. or isit more then that? its been long. and ppl been
asking if im not tired of waiting? no. im not waiting. i just dont
know how shud i describe this. im not desperate nor the otherwise.
its just this feelings of me to just be loyal to this one. but,till
when? 8 years. its not easy. trust me.

when i smsed you saying im moving on,
actual fact i was saying the opposite.
i cant. and thats the fact.
i know who i am. and sure im not that type
of girl that boys are into. but still,ill nvr
find someone as nice and as sweet as you.
if by chance you were to drop by here,
i just wnted to tell you this.
i just cant forget about you.
sigh.

~~& why am i crying? :(~~

Labels: its never been easy. trust me.

iloveloveyou all! muacks.

08 August 2009 @ 11:59 AM

OKAYYYYY! pictures are up nowwww! i still have somemore pictures
to be upload. but,i guess,ill upload the rest prettypretty soon? so yerp!
enjoy sweethearttt! ((:

cheesecake that the classmates bought for me! & i took THREE days to finish this!
damn big & damn thick okay! & of cause,as a cheese lover,its super delicious! thanks
darling classmates for this cake. loveyou guys truckloads! <333

closest. <33

NARVIN SINGH! haha! he loves to disturb everyone. but,he is a very nice guy

indeed. nvr fails to make us laugh. ((:

my class SIFU ; peijiun & my class clown ; elton. (when he was told to take picture with

peijiun,hes damn excited! hahaha! nevertheless,he made my day with his stupidity!)

they are the one. & ill nvr find any oth friends whom is so nice as them. <333

the smart asses. ((:

not all are here! :( its okay,theres always othr days. ((:

erm,kak mis,muke tu maintain eh! HAHAHAH! :P

singh said : ' the camera tilt senget,i also tilt senget. cool what ' -____-'''

ill give 10 out of 10 for e brownie! DAMN NICEEEEEE! ((:

&& lobster salad tooooo! <33

the sushi is so fullfilling. i wldnt mind to go sakura again! <33

the both A-ss. hahaha! *peace*

my bday mates. loveloveloveyou! ((:

he said he want to look like a suckling PIG! & he manage to do it! *applause* hahahah!

*peace*

self-timed.

the one whom treat me sakura. so sweet of him. ((:

another self-timed. ilovethis shot. super nice! <33

<333

my gorgeous ladyyyyy! ((:

&& lastly me. ;)

*once again,thanks everyone again! you all are the best! <333*

Labels: pictures.

itsyourbirthdaysweetyyy. ((:

06 August 2009 @ 11:45 PM

its 6 of august again & i would love to wish my only twin bday mate
ABU BAKAR BIN OMAR a very HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAYYYY!
ive msged you last night,so ill not say more here okayyyy! hahah! XD
(& ill doubt by any chance u'll drop by here though! heh!)

& now,i would really love to take this opportunity to thank those whom
had wish me! either thru sms,called me,thru facebook,friendster ( yeah,i
know! i havent delete it okay! haha! ),verbally,wish me thru blogs & also
msn! i really appreciate it alot! i cried when kak yanie msged me! her
msg is just so sweet! i can type it down,but too long laaa! 4page
leh! hahah! & she also post it at her blog just for me! & i cried again!
damn touching laa. & also,thanks so much kak mis for the present!
& also elton! haha! ur present so cute huh! but,it okay. iloveit! ((:
hahah! damn cute laa u ah! & first bro & sis in law for buying me a puma
beg! was damn shock okay! haha! dint expect also! i wnted psp. but,its
okay! shall ask 2nd bro to buy for me then! (LIKE REAL! HAHAHAH!) &
not forgetting. dearest aizan for the sakura treat. syg kau many2 laa! (ive
said this to you for idk how many times & aku tk jelak okay! hahah!)
but really,i truly appreciate to whom who wished me. thrs so many
unexpected ppl msged me. & i was quite amazed laa. cause i dint even
thought he/she will eventually know or even rmbr my bday! haha!
thanks alotalotalot once again everyone! <333

&& indeed this year bday is so sweet and a memorable one too! cause,
i dint expect my classmates will like surprise me! cause,we were having our breaks. then,suddenly pearlyn & jinzhe MIA. seriously,i dint suspect
anything one. den,out of sudden,alice,jaseema all come. & again,i nvr
suspect anything. & at tht point of time also,i was using my laptop then,
suddenly,they sang for me a bday song! & suddenly got one box of
cheesecake pop out infront of me! i was so shock laa! really! i nvr
expect anything u know! they acted so well! & was paiseh. cause,its
at koufu! ALOT OF PPL LAAAA! -.- haha. but still,they're veryvery sweet!
sang for me bday song 3 times leh! haha! love you all classmates! you
ppl are the best! XD & pearlyn e upmost for being e mastermind! haha!

& move on,ive always hated e last lecture. u know wht?
just now lecture,i think thrs smth wrong with the lecturer. how can they
actually lecture us,in one hour with 15pages of 6slides each?!(!!!!!!!)
in total,thrs 90 SLIDES! 90 LEHHHHH! NOT 19!!!! wth! then in 1 pathetic
hour! & she talk super slow sia. i tink ah,my grandmother talk faster!
& when its at 6,shes still at page 6! IMAGINE THAT!!!!!! wahhhh! i tell
u,i can faint anytime sia. & me and alice keep hinting her. '6 oclock,
6oclock' CANNOT HEAR ONE! one word,DEAF! -.- den,den. alice shout
again laa. den,she look at us ans ask us. wht time itis. & together we
shouted,'6.07!!!' & whole theatre laugh! haha. stupid sia! then i rush
to meet aizan & off to meet nina darl & off we go to sakura! wahhh!
e food thr so damn fulfilling okay! i can feel tht my stomach can burst
anytime soon horr! haha. && thanks aizan for the treat ur the best laa!
tunggu bday kau kay? *keningnaiknaik* haha! den off homeeeeeee!
damn tired leh. one whole day outside. & mom was being sarcastic,
'wah! enjoy nmpk smpi tk ingt nk balik! ingatkn tknk balik!'
mmg! ni mak mmg kurang asam! but still,iloveher damn lot! ((:

wahhhhhhhh! very long update! heh! sorry horr! & yes,pictures will be
up realllll soon! dont worry okayyy! hehe. so,i think,till here then.
once again,thanks alot u guys! u all shud know who u are yeah.

thanks for reading this! heh!
goodnight!
xoxo.

Labels: happybirthdaytoyou SHAHIDA.

ihateitwhenimsick! :(

01 August 2009 @ 10:31 PM

went to the doctor this morning. eventhough thrs like few ppl in line,the
sevice damn slow laaa! i can simply doze off any min. just imagine i reached
thr at 11plus 12,and get to meet e doctor near to 1! -.- until first bro play psp,
the batt gone halfway already. imagine tht! -.- & the doctor keep urging me
to wear e mask tht she gave to me. and yes,being a typical sporean,i nvr wear it laa.
only inside doctor's room i wear. outside,u wait longlong okay. haha. & yes,was
given so many medicine & 4days mc starting from tdy. so,ill not go to sch on mon
and tues! happy or wht! XD but,ill take this opportunity to study at home laa.
exams is in three weeks time. wah! TIME PASS BY SO FAST! :(

Labels: sicksicksicksicksicksick.

iloveyou,youloveme. (:

@ 9:57 PM

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAYYYY NUR AININA ANAK AHMADDDD! ((:

here i am to wish my dearest darling,a wonderful 18th birthday! ((:

actually,i plan to like give you a phone call kinda surprise lykdat. but then,

im sick. & i actually slept e whole entire day last night. :( feel so sad

laa. cause i dint manage to wish u on time. 12am on e dot. :( nvrm,

thrs still next year kan? haha. XD

& so,i hope ur day tdy will be th blastful one & i really hope u enjoy

your day tdy to e fullest ya eventhough your sick! its okay,still,thrs

ppl ard you can cheer you up though. (: & again,shall see you this coming

thursday real soon! & aftr tht we can go partayyyy! *keningnaiknaik*

hahahaha! & rmbr this,whenevr u feel down,im always here for you.

im sure u know wht i mean yeah. lastly,iloveyou truckloads <333! nina is

the best! XD *hughug*

Labels: happy birthday sayang.