its my life story

totally shagged of.

14 May 2009 @ 9:40 PM

Am totally shagged. i wna blog but i got no strength to type. ill update in a day or two time okay? & bio is killing me! grrr. will be back soon! takecare! =)

Labels: im sorry goodbye.

ilovemyfamilymorethenmyself. <33333

10 May 2009 @ 3:32 PM

it seriously amazes me how much first bro has change. Alhamdullilah. i guess i prefer him much more now from then. he makes me feel good. i guess one of the reason is also because of him becoming a dad soon. i feel much comfortable being with him ard. anything i wud want to tell him/or shared with him,he will nvr fail to become my listening ears eventhough i know he got his own prob/responsibility he has to settle first. in short,ive nvr regret having a great brother like him. i used to hate him so much. but,when i knew him closer this past months,he made me realise that i actually has a great brother. a brother whom i can rely my probs on.
on the oth hand,my sisinlaw. she also had given me alot of advices. she makes me regain my confidence evenmore. without both of them,idk to whom can i actually talk or complain abt my day/friends/aunty/uncle in short everything.
first bro ask me to talk to dad. and now,ive got no difficulties to talk to dad. dad also has given me alot of advices whom which i can just shed my tears upon realising how care,how concern he is towards me,his only daughter. ive nvr failed to cried or felt touch whenever dad advices me on what and whatnot.this kind soul had made me come to realise that ive nvr be/will nvr be alone.
even without my friends ard with me. trust me. i can just live with them ard. but,i know its impossible. they have their own responsibility. its not i hated all my friends or what. but,i hate it when it comes to e misunderstnding/backstabbing/jealousy or whatever shit that can happen in friendship.i know,we must gone thru all this in order to make the friendship goes stronger. but,well,ill just keep those comment to myself.
as for mom,shes e best ever mom ive known. ppl can say whatever shit abt my mom but i know whts the best she has done for me. she might be an egoistic person ever. but,shes a loving mom. her smile,her laughter is the only one whom can make my day a wonderful one. cause i know ive made my mom smile and laugh.and i wldnt even can imagine how can i not live without her ard.
as for second brother,he may be a good brother. but,e way he treats me,i despise it strongly. i know,he hated me much as well. but whateverthing isit bro,ur still e one whom i thank god for. evernthough we're not close and we always has misunderstnding,i still love you just e way you are.
lastly,little bro. ur e only little bro i had. eventhough e parental attention wsnt totally focus to u,u must know that ive always been loving u and always wanted e best for u. i dnt mind spending my money for u cause i know u wldnt upset me instead,u make me proud by having a wonderful brother like u. study hard dear brother. ur e only hope for our family to get better grades then me. and im sure u can do it.
not forgetting,kak yanie whom have also played a part advising me on this and that. she makes me realise how much my family actually loves me,care for me. thanks for everything. u've change me into a much better person. eventhough idk what happen to us,ill nvr forget u. i guess ive disturb u much. hahs. and ill make sure ill not from now onwards alright. loveyoutoo.

overall,ive told myself nvr regret knowing someone whom u had knew before. cause,alittle or more,they did change u to become a better person. to whomever had enter to my life before and also leave from my life,i wud like to thank you all for everything. each one of u has ur own specialities. and to which i dint regret knowing u ppl at all. but time changes. and indeed everyone change. i just hope e best for ur new environment and ill never ever forget all ur deeds towards me.

Labels: it'll never be forgotten.

iloveyoumom.

@ 12:46 PM

TO BELOVED MOM,

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! <333

i know,eventhough nowadays we're not ourselves,i still do respect,love,care about you. ive nvr failed to pray for your safety,your health-being where ever you are. its already been a very tough time for me and you this past few weeks. seriously,i miss those times with you. i miss those smile,those laughter,those conversation everything about you. but i know,this is not e time yet. time will tell us everything. time will tell us whos wrong and whos right. ive always remind myself to be strong whenever you're not thr to support me. but,i dont think i can in days,weeks or even months to come. luckily thrs dad ard. if not,ill just left clueless alone without knowing what to do. mom,whateverthing happen to us,i hope u can be strong to face this obstacle in every single part of way. if u think i dnt miss u,i hated u,ur wrong. i miss u like nobody business,i love you more then i love myself. until at e point of time i feel like giving up in life. i dnt wnt to continue my studies,i wnt to go farfar away from home. but,when that day dad spoke to me,advise me,it brings my self-confidence back. i feel that im still wanted in this family. i feel that i still need u and you still need me to complete this family tree of ours,to be a one whole happy family back. ppl have been persuading me to start everything first. but,i feel awkward. its been near a month. its hard. im sorry dearest mom. i hope you'll take a very good care of yourself and im sure you still wont lose out without me ard. cause u still have ur oth sons whom will be with u whenever u need them. iloveyoumom,and ive always do.

Labels: its never been easy.

lappylappylappy!

07 May 2009 @ 9:59 PM

first and foremost,i wud love to wish first brother a HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAYYYYYY! =D
your sucha big boy alreadyyy brother! hahahah! rmbr ah brother,ur age turn 30 already! not 3 ahhhh! & your becoming a daddy soon too! im sure you know what we all expect from you. & im sure you'll be a great father. =) & iloveyou.

____________________________________________________________________

next,tmr i need to wake up at freaking 7.30 just to go to DBS get the loan agreement signed! when actually i can wake up at 8.30! & dad warned me already,'late,ill leave you'. wahhh,can like dat one ahh? he gives no mercy to me sia. hahaha! and i really hope i can wake up at 7.30 sharpppp! heh. tdy was late for lecture! ystd i dint attend first lect! how can this happen mayyn! i tell u,i can die anytime one leh. haha! i think,sooner or later,im stuck with korean songs i tell u. AMALINAAAAA! YOU DIE! hahahahah! here some pic ive uploaded. enjoy! =)

serene,janice & me. outside e tutorial room.

me,jinzhe & pearlyn! at first i thought jinzhe's name spelt as ginger! hahah! & pearlyn is valen's look alike sis! LOL!

feat peijiun (my group leader!),jinzhe and pearlyn!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! hahaha!

my group members! the wonderful one! EXCEPT for ermm,i know you know laa eh. wunt say much. hahah!

kay,im done here! i want to go SE-LEEEPPPPP! hahaha!
GOODNIGHT HUMAN! ((:

Labels: happybirthdaybrother.

sighsighsigh.

06 May 2009 @ 9:42 PM

meet up with this two kid was sucha blast! they can make me laugh non stop hit. LOVE both of you laa. never fails to brighten up my day & make feel satisfied in whatever thing im not satisfied with! haha. met them just now fyi. LOL! i slept near to 4.30am ystd! cool or wad eh? my insomnia symtom is backkkkkkkk! & i seriously detest if this really happens continuouslyyyyy! oh mayyynnnn! on the happier note,MY LAPPY LOAN IS SUCCESSFUL! YAYYYYYYY! :D straight aft checking it at the net,went home check e letterbox. was in the cloud nine lehhh. heehee. starightaway i called misliana. or shud i called her kak mis? heh. she was happy like hell leh. haha. cuteee! hees. on friday gta wake up early in the morn cause i need to go to DBS bank to sign wadever shit form blablabla with daddy! wahpiang. my dad den now said ' cannot pay cash isit?' cute or wad? -_____- told him last month then now he said that. troublesome. but however,iloveyoulikeivealwaysdodad. <333

On the sad-der note,my projects is piling up day by day! how can those lecturers bully us the year 1 students? alot leh our project. by next week,ive got to hand in/present two project! one on monday & another one wed. & to which,its not even done yet laaaa. sure die one laa. sure one. sighsigh doublesigh.
okay,im off now. AMERICAN IDOL IS UP NOW! my darling performing leh. HAHAHAH!

k,byeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ((:

ps ; i just need some simple encouragement. im totally lost now. imissmom very much. idk why must this things happen. i just want a happy family. not a wreck one. i just wnted e best for all. but it seems i failed. totally failed. idk to whom can i depend on now. rely on now. i feel like im on a mere to lose all my precious one. which i fear that the most. ill try to be strong as strong as the typhoon but,i cant.

Labels: yourockmyday.

ergh!

04 May 2009 @ 9:46 PM

yohaaaaaa! =)

woah! elective module today was sucha blast! seriously lorr! just imagine,i was like laughing my ass off hard every minute when e lecturer talk to us. the lecturer was damn hilarious laaa. very cute indeed. and like aunty2 lykdat. mcm makcik bedeh eh syahrin. hahahah! whatever thing itis,im so looking forward for next week elevtive module. just so fantabulous lorr. mayyyynnnnnnnnn. i need alot & alot of kah-ching to buy my remaining poly books,pay cik munah & bro's money. ERGH! i hate borrowing money from brother. seriously laa. i know i owe u smth,& ill sure ill pay you back. but not now. why cnt u just understnd ur own sis? we stay in the same house for goodness sake laa. F laa. u tink i wna run away isit? thats it laa eh. tak gune sia. WSZAMMXWYEHPZAGSQL! :-@

kda,bye!

Labels: just fucking pissed off.

im alive!

03 May 2009 @ 5:48 PM

holalalalalaaaaa! ((:

im being a lazy bump tdy. know why? cause i woke up at freaking 2pm tdy! *faint* heh. very tired waddd. cannot help it. aha. ystd went studying with amalina. and resulted only half of the day ystd we studied. or can i say 3/4 of the day? haha. am so sorry ama. i promise thr'll not be another ystd day again in future! hehe. YAY! tmr's first lesson starts at 11! which means,i can wake up ltr then i suppose to! muahahaha! but,i can only be home by 5! how pathetic can it be? tell me! tell meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *faint again* wah,i can see day by day my post is seriously dry with words. day by day my post becoming shorter and shorter. hmm,i think i know wad to do. hees. k,byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (:

to you ; i know by any chance you'll nvr ever come across my blog. but,i think your words are too harsh and it seriously hurting. i can stand it for sometimes. but not FOREVER. just rmbr,everyone got feelings. so do i. even an animal has their own feelings. i know u tried to be funny here. but,its been continuously and i get seriously irritated. && thr's always a limit to every joke. ur mature to think wisely at ur age. im sure u undrstnd wad i mean.

Labels: dry with words.

its holiday babyyyy!

01 May 2009 @ 4:04 PM

holaaaaaaa! ((;

ATLAST! its labour day tdy. rest day. phewwww! but not totally actually. i need to revise alot! in lecture room i cant concentrate much. like totally cannot concentrate laa. i keep laughing and laughing. Jaseema & Alice,next lecture,dnt sit beside me! i mean it! i can fail every module if u both tends or already plan to sit beside me for every lecture! hahahaha! && ama,please,i cannot live without u beside me in lecture room. hahaha! dnt go away from me i tell u! :P next week monday supposingly can go back by 12!!!!! BUT,thrs elective module of which i need to stay in sch and be back only by 5! -____- OH! before i forgot,dint i told u abt mr mario? yes,mario. sucha dissapointment! NOT HANDSOME! NOT HOT! seriously,exactly like SUPERMARIO! seriously laaaa! make my heart break only. hahaha! kay,im off for now. will update sooooon! here some pic ive upload. takecare! (;